I have reason to believe that every urinary action is
subject to unfathomably complex space-time travel. I will begin this discussion by explaining a few terms that I will be using frequently in this essay. First, “meatus”
is the proper anatomical name for the hole at the end of the penis. It is not
to be confused with the urethra, which is the tube-like structure that leads to the meatus. Additionally, “multiverse” refers to all
universes – some experts theorize that there are in fact more than one
universe, so I’d like to cover all my bases – in our observable collection of
universes, if there are more than
one. Finally, a “negative multiverse” refers to those universes that comprise a
multiverse other than ours. Necessarily, our observable multiverse may not
belong to the negative multiverse; it is similar to the concept of matter
versus anti-matter. Consider it an anti-multiverse. Let us begin with the
anatomical aspects of this matter.
In
short, during the urination process, the urine exits the bladder, in which it
is stored until excretion, via the urethra. At the end of the urethra is the
small slit, or “dick hole,” to which others may more crassly refer – the
meatus. The interesting thing about the meatus is that it is simply a slit; it
is not part of the urethra. In other
words, it is simply a one-dimensional line, and if one were to “open” it, for
lack of a better word, the urethra would be exposed. So here’s where it gets
tricky: the meatus, as stated, is a one-dimensional line. An infinitesimally
small distance further into it is the urethra; conversely, an infinitesimally
small distance further out of it is open air, or no longer part of the human
subject at hand. This fact is important to remember: it is a one-dimensional
line, meaning it only has length. No width, height, or depth. If one were to
“open” it, one would observe the urethra, not the “inside” of the meatus, as
there is none. It is geometrically the same thing as drawing a line with a
pencil on a piece of paper.
The
metaphysical implications of this begin to defy all intuition. It seems that
the meatus, unlike anything else that exists, only exists in certain dimensions
in our multiverse.
- In the
0th dimension, it exists: it does so necessarily because it exists
in the 1st dimension, as explained previously.
- In the
1st dimension, it exists: as explained previously; it only has
a length of finite value.
- It
does not exist in the 2nd
dimension: to do so, it requires a width.
- It
also does not exist in the 3rd
dimension: to do so, it requires a depth or height.
- It
exists in all succeeding dimensions beginning with the 4th
dimension, though I will modestly admit that humans may never know just
how many dimensions exist. Nevertheless, the true number does not matter
in this case.
How can the meatus exist in some dimensions and not in
others? It is my belief that it does
exist in all dimensions, though perhaps just not in our observable dimensions and multiverse. For something
to exist, it must do so in all dimensions; it may not be exempt from any.
Therefore, it is my hypothesis that the meatus exists in the 2nd and
3rd dimensions of the negative multiverse, or negative 2nd
and negative 3rd dimensions. To recap, in the example of the meatus,
dimensions 0 and 1 are positive, 2 and 3 are negative, and 4 onward are once
again positive.
What
does this mean about a given urinary process? It means that the very instant
the urine reaches the last, ultimate point of the urethra – “point” here being
the absolute final location in a three-dimensional space – it travels from our
multiverse (dimensions zero through the final one, whatever it may be) to the 2nd
and 3rd dimensions of the negative multiverse, and again back to our
multiverse (zero through final dimension) at the absolute first point that
exits the body. To rephrase, the urine travels to the final point of the
urethra, skips the points (“line-points;” geometric “points”) that compose the
meatus via the negative dimensions, and returns to the very next point succeeding
the meatus. I will illustrate this process thusly:
Urethra] | [Open Air
--> --> --> . --> --> -->
Arrows represent flow
of urine
Dot and straight
line represent meatial line-points, or meatus
In
conclusion, since the urine exists, and must travel from the bladder to open
air (excretion), it must travel through all dimensions during its journey; it
may not exist in only some dimensions, similar to the meatus, or any other
observable “thing.” The urine, a three-dimensional subject, may not simply pass
through a line – the meatus – due to geometric and physical laws. In addition,
though the meatus does not exist in our 2nd or 3rd
dimension, it does so in the respective dimensions of the negative multiverse.
Finally, I hope this essay will inspire you, dear reader, to think and ponder
more profoundly about everyday events that may seem inherently simple, for the
simplest thing may actually turn out to be an inspirationally complex
multiversal journey.