Winnetka,
CA. The Los Angeles County Superior Court will be seeing a rather bizarre case
this Thursday, as Winnetka resident Nicholas Sampson is suing music streaming service
Spotify Ltd. for wrongful conception, seeking a five-million dollar settlement.
Charges
were filed in April when Sampson and his now-pregnant girlfriend Monica Lester inadvertently
conceived their son, citing that a “very, very
loud advertisement” caused Sampson to ejaculate prematurely. Said the music
licensing agent, “This is a terribly awkward situation. Monica and I were
making love, playing our usual love-making setlist we had created on Spotify. I
don’t have enough to pay for the non-advertisement Spotify membership. Those ad
things are so fucking loud. Like, the music was at a good level, but twenty
minutes in, an ad for Allstate came on. Dennis Haysbert’s voice scared the shit
out of me, and then it happened.”
Veteran
entertainment attorney Miguel Hernandez spoke out on behalf of his client:
“What Mr. Sampson is going through is incredibly unfair, and legal action must
be taken. Last year I represented a woman who sharted her pants on the way to a
very important business meeting; Spotify was found responsible for airing a
Smirnoff ad at 118.6 decibels over her car radio system.”
Neither
Spotify nor Dennis Haysbert could be reached for comment. Judge Judith
Hendermann will be presiding over the case this Thursday.
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